I'm back. I'm here...and I'm ready to

It's been a little while since my last post asking for your thoughts and your prayers. Life has been busy, messy and a bit overwhelming for me. I've been waiting, writing, re-writing and thinking about all of the changes going on with my little family right now. It's been one big roller coaster around here...

Emotionally...I've practically been bipolar. I have absolutely no idea how my husband handles that...
...and the fact that he still loves me after one of my weepy-laughing-yelling-pouting-joking fits is absolutely amazing to me.

Mentally...I've been completely blank. COMPLETELY exhausted. 
Harold asked me the other night, "What are you thinking about?"

I sat there, staring at my hands trying to remember the last time I actually thought about anything of worth...

"...well, that's a first."

[[It's true.]]
I actually specifically remember this one time, when I was a little kid, sitting in my room just trying to make myself not think about anything. I couldn't get my mind to shut off. It just kept going...and going...and going...

Physically...well...I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks. And it shows. Uggggh.

Even though I have been trying to come up with some way of letting out all of these emotions, thoughts and frustrations, I'm actually glad that I have waited to post anything about it. Sometimes it is better to allow yourself to work through things in the privacy of your own mind, your own home, within the safety of your own marriage. It's something that I have to actually remind myself of, that it's ok to keep some things to myself. Especially when it is so easy to publicly vent, through one or all of these ridiculously addictive social media outlets, I really have to take the time and make the effort to keep myself from over-sharing.

Now, after taking that time and sifting through my own thoughts and feelings on the subject, I'm feeling better. I am feeling good. There are still a few moments where I have to fight off the worry, the uneasiness about stepping out into the world with questions unanswered. But overall, for the most part, Harold and I are happy and ready to move we go...

Harold is being discharged from the United States Navy.


Such a lot to say in so few words.

I know there will be a lot of questions, a lot of rumors, a lot of emotions...and I am going to just say right now that we have a lot of questions, have heard a lot of rumors and are still dealing with a lot of emotions ourselves. We will do the best that we can to answer, confirm, deny and listen...but really, we don't know much more than what I am going to post right here, right now...

And when we do know more, about what we are going to do, where we are going to go, we will tell you! 
I promise.

I'm going to make this next part short and to the point...because I'm just not in the mood to talk about it anymore. Seriously...I could go the rest of my life without telling this story in detail one.more.time. PLEASE, if you care to stay friends with me, do NOT ask me for any more details than I am giving you now. Thank you. I love you.

1. Harold carries concealed, and has a permit to do so.

2. He carried onto the ship.

3. Realized he had it, hid it while he went to a meeting.

4. It was found. He confirmed ownership.

5. Investigation was started & ended with him at a Captain's Mast.

6. Captain discharged him, General under Honorable conditions.

7. He is leaving the Navy with his benefits and GI bill.

8. Peace out Navy. It's been real.

We don't want to pursue any kind of legal action against the Navy, thanks for asking. We don't care to attract any sort of media attention to the issue. It's not something we are really all that upset about, actually. Harold made a mistake and was handed the best possible outcome, which we are absolutely thankful for. It could have been worse, much worse. It's time to accept the reality and move forward the best that we can. 

So...what now??

Good question.

One that I can't really answer right now...

Our hearts are telling us to run home. We are free, at last! And then, our responsibilities remind us that we aren't quite free just yet. We own a home here in Virginia. Our son goes to school here, where we have already paid a deposit, reserved his spot. My sister and her daughters have moved in with us and she has an excellent job that she loves. Our friends are here, our little Navy Family is here, the people we have shared our lives with for years are here. So at the same time, our hearts are telling us to stay. 

We are torn.

We haven't made any concrete decisions on what comes next. Harold is in a transitions class this week, learning how to become a civilian again. And after that...we have absolutely no idea what is happening. We may be in the Navy for another 2 months, we may be finished come Monday. I think at this point, Harold is going to begin the process of finding a new job. We have so many options to consider, to pray about and to think a short amount of time.

Things are happening, friends. Our life is changing and we are pretty excited.

Yes, it has been overwhelming. Yes, I have had my moments of uncertainty. Yes, I have cried a lot...worried a lot...prayed a lot...

But at the end of the day, God is good. He is in control and right now I am absolutely sure that everything will work out.

We are ok. Because we always are.

Thank you for your thoughts, for your prayers and for your love.

<3 Allison

[[Here's to finally enjoying the freedoms my husband has served to protect.]]

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 25, 2014. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

One Response to “Freedom.”

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I do. Know that Evan and I will always be here for you guys-like we always have been. The Navy is wonderful! Evan fully supported the Navy and loved serving his country. He did it honorably. However, our life is 20 times better now that he is out of the Navy!!! We get to both be an active role in our daughters life just as you and Harold will get to be in Aden and Taylors! Enjoy the absolute freedom of the uncertain. Too quickly you will worried and stressed about the "new" life. It is easier said than donebut trust me, Harold will be fine...and so will you! Now, I do believe you will be happiest (Kelly and the kids can come too) in OK living on the same street, sharing recipies, becoming in-laws, sippin sweet tea, not exercising and growing old in our front porch rocking chairs! Doesn't that sound like the dream? Miss you and love ya'll. Skype date again soon!!