Project Life : Anything But Boring

Blogging is hard.

I don't think I like blogging. At least not the way it's supposed to be done.

I've always loved the idea of keeping a blog. A few years ago I started one, and then I started another one...and then another one...but it never stuck.

This time, I swore it would be different. I told myself I would make it work. It would stick, because this time I knew the rules. I was given a quick crash course of a few terms, tricks and how-to's and I was feeling confident. I was flooded with inspiration, motivation and support...but then...things started to feel...off.

I was gaining followers, page views and readers...but I was losing the desire to continue, because I was losing inspiration and my blog just didn't have a direction anymore. I began feeling guilty for every day that I couldn't keep up with a post. I felt pressure, a ridiculous amount of pressure that I put on myself, to put up a post every day. I started to feel like I was failing, and then I started to resent the blog...which resulted in fewer and fewer posts about increasingly boring topics. 

It made me feel like a failure...a Mommy-bloggy-interweb-modern-woman FAILURE. 

And it stunk.

And I didn't like it. 

So...I just decided that blogging wasn't for me. I told myself I was giving up, and moving on. Never to blog again...

Which lasted about a week.

Because just as I had decided to write it off forever, last night and the night before, I was laying in bed trying to sleep...but all I could do was think about the millions of things that I wanted to write about. I felt inspired, I felt like I needed to get up right then and grab my laptop and write. Of course, I didn't...I should have...but I didn't. I wrote down a few keywords on my notes app on my phone and then I went to sleep. But those two nights of constant ideas popping into my head made me realize that I don't really want to give up blogging... 

I just want to give up the rules of blogging.

What does that mean? Honestly, I don't even know...because I don't think there really are any real 'rules'. But I feel like there are rules...so anytime I feel like there is a rule I should be following, I guess I'm just not going to follow it. This will absolutely result in less editing, more fun and more 'I don't care what you think' sorts of posts...because, while I'm being honest here...on Facebook, I care what people think. I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never ever post anything negative on my Facebook, because I don't really want everyone on Facebook in on all my daily drama. But Facebook is one thing... 

On my blog? In my space? I don't want to care what you think. I just don't. I love you...but here, in this space...I want to write and I want to write what I want, how I want and when I want...and you don't have to read it, you don't have to like it and you don't have to follow me. 

This blog will officially become exactly what it is...Project Life.

And in my life? Things are messy. Things are honest. Things are busy and crafty and full.

And I like it that way...and I want to write about it...without the rules.

So...here's to starting over...again. The way that I want to do it.    

   

<3 Allison.